Saviors in Zion

Tonight I was blessed to be able to go to the temple with the Young Women.  I was so excited to go and was so overcome when I saw how many girls came.  To know that they were all worthy to enter the Lord's house and feel the Lord's spirit and love warmed my heart beyond expression.  Being there was blessing enough, but Br. Anderson talked to us about the work we were about to do.  Being baptized for those that can't do it themselves.  He said that a few years ago he had been able to go back to where he served his mission 32 years earlier.  While in the temple he saw the very first person he baptized while on his mission, those long 32 years ago.  He went up to him and asked his name and who baptized him, when he told him that he was that Br. Anderson, the man embraced him.  He said it was unlike any hug he had ever had and that we would experience this same embrace when we come face to face with those we do work for in the temple.  The spirit testified to me that this was true and that there were indeed souls waiting to thank me for the work I had done for them.  How incredible is that?  How blessed we are, how loved.

Janae

Went to my hospice patient's funeral today. Truly one of the most amazing funerals I have ever been to. If there was ever a perfect funeral for a person this was it. It was a mixture of beautiful stories woven with stirring testimonies of why we are here and where we are going. I can't believe how blessed I am to have been able to get to know Janae a little. She had ALS and lived years beyond her diagnosis. Her children participated in her service and it must have given her great pride and satisfaction to see them walking in the paths of righteousness. The spirit was so strong through the whole meeting. I just kept thinking, this is where I should be.  When I went back out into the world, I saw people going on with their lives, unaware of this amazing experience I had just witnessed.  I again thanked my Heavenly Father for His tender mercies and for the great honor of being a part, even if it was a very small part, of this elect woman. And for the blessed hour and a half that I was able to bask in the spirit and feel my testimony swell within my heart of the truthfulness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For it's teachings of peace and love and for the joy it brings to my life! I am loved!

I am loved!

The last few weeks, months, I have had something weighing heavy on my mind. I eat drink and sleep it. It worries me and has caused me to question the direction of my life and if it is all worth it. Are the hassles worth the rewards, I was doubting that they were. My health has also been declining so that didn't help my outlook. This morning I got up, changed the page on my calendar, and there were the words that changed everything. "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days." D&C 24:8 "Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged, things will work out." Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley. Of course it will. I just needed that nudge from my Heavenly Father to lighten up and go to work, it will work out. I am so thankful He cares enough to send me these simple messages that cause my heart to swell and my outlook to change and my life to be set back on track. I am loved. Oh and because of my troubles, money has been a little tight, I was doing my visiting teaching and had shared my moment of bliss, we had gotten up and were walking out the door when this beloved sister said, out of nowhere, I need to gather up my daughters prom dresses and put them in our garage sale on Saturday. Emily needs a dress so badly but we just don't have the money to spend. How that Lord works in such miraculous way, I just don't know, but thank goodness He does!

It's like it was orchestrated....

Spotless 2010 Young Woman's Camp
What a wonderful adventure we had.  It was all such a dream.  Everything went according to plan, maybe not ours, but most definately Heavenly Fathers.  We had a trial by fire, love unfeigned, 2 minutes of feeling more gratitude that imaginable.  Talks given by camp hosts went right along with talks give by our leaders.  During testimony meeting the girls kept saying, "I am Loved".  That night we gave our handout that we had prepared weeks before, stating, You are Loved and signed by all the young women leaders.  It truly seemed like the whole camp was orchestrated by a loving Heavenly Father.  If you do all you can, He will do the rest.  My cup runneth over.

Blessings from above!

A Young Woman sent me a text, "Can I get a blessing?" Of course was my immediate response! She had just become active again and her testimony and light just shines. She came over with her Mom and my husband and a neighbor administered to her. How amazing that one request can bring so very many blessings. I had been very sick that day and not very happy. When she arrived all my burdens were lifted and I felt light. My testimony was strengthened as I felt the Spirit testify to me of His love for this beautiful girl. Bonds were made with her Mom, friendships built and my love for her and her family grew. She may have been the one that asked for the blessing but I was also very blessed. I guess that is how Heavenly Father works, He stands ready to bless us, all we need to do is ask and receive with grateful hearts. I am so thankful, for the Priesthood, for family, for friends, for my calling in His church and for His Love and Tender Mercies, seen and unseen.

Tender Mercies Continue

I had a rough night last night. Had someone actually be mean, right to my face. Hasn't happened in a long time, well at least not since the last time! ;) Anyway, it has been hurting my heart since it happened. I tried to blow it off as nothing, but it awoke me at night my heart knitted in pain. It was silly and really of no consequence, but I feel hurt and embarrassed. But Heavenly Father, in His tender mercy sent my visiting teachers to me this morning as a balm of Gilead. Of course, one of their first questions, was, how are you doing? They seemed to really want to know or at least I really wanted to get it off my chest so I told them I had had a bad night and was feeling down. They listened and then offered their own similar experiences. It was so comforting to know that I was not alone in what I had gone through, they had gone through the same and felt my pain. It brought me so much comfort and peace. I knew Heavenly Father knew my pain and couldn't be here Himself so he sent Sam and Jean. It is a good reminder to me how much our words and actions can truly hurt someone. I pray that if I ever do hurt someone like that I will be made painfully aware of it and bothered by it until I apologize for it. Also, that if someone shares something with me that I have experienced, sometimes it is good to commiserate. Thank you Heavenly Father for your everlasting love, for being there for me, always.

Spring is here!

Oh how I love Spring time! It has to be one of the best times of the year. A time for renewal and rebirth. However, this spring has also brought loss and a little heartache. Losing friends to death is always hard to take but knowing that because of Christ, we will all be together again, the sting is not as bad as expected. Death is but a new awakening, perhaps a new spring in that person's life. That brings me peace. I also lost my Grandma in January, I seriously didn't think I could take it, but once it was done, God granted me the tender mercy of peace and the sweet feeling of Grandma's strong and loving spirit close to me, lifting and tending to me. To all of you out there that are feeling a bit down and unloved or forgotten, please read the following article, it will bring peace beyond measure and remind you of the greatness of God: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1032-27,00.html
Love to all!

Pity Party

You are cordially invited to my very own pity party!

I am having a moment of silence for myself as I wallow in my self doubt and feelings of anger and pain. After my big revelation of everyone getting 5 minutes I had given someone 5 minutes, 10 seconds and then took offense and let my feelings get hurt. Well, it was a good thought anyway. It is so hard when someone is so blatantly mean to you and puts you down to your face and then whispers behind your back just loud enough for you to hear. I want to yell, and point out all their flaws and imperfections. Scream how great I have been to them and how much I have sacrificed for them. Oh gag, now I really sound like a mother! And not a good one at that. So, tonight I am venting and hoping no one reads it before I delete it. I have served cookies at my party, but me being the only one to eat them, I have almost eaten myself into a sugar coma. Oh well, a little rest could be good! Here I lay me down to sleep, a bag of cookies at my feet, I mean a bag that once had cookies, at my feet. If I blow before I wake I pray it cures my belly ache! Well, happy days tomorrow, right, it can only get better.

5 minutes of Stupidity

Have I used my 5 minutes of stupidity wisely today? I read recently that we each get 5 minutes a day to just be plain stupid. If we realize this, when someone says something hurtful or stupid, it makes it much easier to forgive them. After all, if I am going to get 5 minutes, I have to give 5 minutes as well! Unfortunately it seems I usually take more than my fair share. However, as much as I love this statement as it allows me to be more forgiving of others, it also allows me to lighten up on myself a little. I catch myself beating myself up for something I did or said, now I can just stop myself in my tracks with, "Hey, it was my 5 minutes, get over it!" If we all could be a little kinder, a little gentler and extend this tender mercy of 5 minutes to each other, what a wonderful world this could be.

Tis the season for Tender Mercies

Our family had a tradition of acting out the first Christmas on Christmas morning. Dad got to play the donkey that Mary would ride. My oldest daughter who now has children of her own, told me something about those Christmas plays so long ago. She loved to ride on Dad the donkey but when her sister's got old enough she thought they should get a chance and so she quietly gave up her spot as Mary. I don't think the other girls realized the gift she had given them. Something that was dear to her, that she gave without complaint or fan fair. How impressed I was that she not only knew the true meaning of Christmas but lived it. Like Jesus the Christ, who knew how to give perfectly, she learn how to give. Those gifts we give in secret that sometimes only ourselves, God and His angels know about are the best and most sacred gifts. I know these gifts are recorded in Heaven and that Angels glory over them. I love the Christmas season and the spirit that comes with it. The opportunity to smile at people without looking strange, driving more courteously, showing more patience doing small acts of kindness. The chance to tell those you love what they mean to you. I know the season has times that it takes on stress and trials but I hope we will all sit back with a cup of cocoa and think of the many tender mercies given us, seen and unseen, by angels above and those that walk among us. Let love abide in our hearts and peace be upon the land for the moment of celebration of our Savior's birth.

Did I email that!?

Sending and receiving emails are done almost without thought now. They are almost as easy and automatic as simply having a conversation with someone.

I recently had a friend send me an URGENT email. Stating to please delete the previous email she had sent, before I read it. Fortunately I had not read it and went in and deleted the email. I did see the subject line but didn't think much of it. She was very open in telling the reason to delete the email. She had forwarded it to everyone in her address book, including her daughter. Her daughter called her on the content of the email, she felt it was very un-Christlike and that she shouldn't be forwarding it on. It touched my heart that she was so humbled by her daughters chastisement. Later in the day I received the same forward from another Christian friend, I recognized the subject line. I deleted it without reading but thought about my friend and her daughter's courage. I have to be honest, I am pretty sure had I read the email, it wouldn't be too bad, this friend is one of the most Christlike people I know, but still if it was hurtful to one person, it is not worth forwarding.

It is so easy to just forward or send emails without much thought. Are we allowing ourselves to send things we wouldn't normally repeat out loud? Now I have a new commitment to watch the emails I compose and those that are forwarded to me. We need to be diligent in knowing if content is true and remember the carelessness that some people use when they slander or put down another human spirit. Let us all say (email) kind words to each other!

Precious Jeopardy

My daughter asked me if the address to my blog was because I had a love of the game show Jeopardy. It is most definitely not. It comes from the book by Lloyd C. Douglas, the author of another one of my favorite books, 'Magnificent Obsession'. However, I use the title from his book, "Precious Jeopardy" as I love the message of this book and the eloquence of the words "Precious Jeopardy".

I saw a friend a few days ago that has been suffering from cancer. Going thru the gamut of losing her hair, unpleasant treatments, fatigue, to say nothing of the emotional roller coaster that comes with cancer, had brought about a change in her. However, to my wonder, she was more beautiful than ever, she had a glow about her. A peace that not many of us achieve. It brought back the poignant message of Precious Jeopardy. She has gained something that most of us have not, she has dignity and grace that only this kind of jeopardy can give you.

Mr. Douglas states it so well in his book. It is during the great depression, the main character has lost his job and his value, so he decides to end it, but in a way the doesn't look like suicide. He steps on a sharp needle which breaks off in his heel. He believes the broken piece will travel to his heart and put an end to his misery. But he finds his life takes on new meaning. "His senses seemed abnormally keen. It was a great thing to be alive. The bare fact of living had never struck him with such vividness. Might it not be possible, he reasoned, that jeopardy sharpens the wits?"

Perhaps we should all walk around believing there is a needle in our heel. Or perhaps Heavenly Father gives our own specially picked blessings (trials) that can have the same effect if we allow ourselves to be clay in his hands.

Fall is Here!

I used to dread the Fall. It symbolized to me the end of Summer. I didn't like dusk, it meant the end of the day. I even hated when they played the theme song at the end of the Carol Burnett show. I would cry all the way home when I would leave my Grandparent's house. I guess it is pretty obvious that as a child, I did not like endings. I still do not like goodbyes. I will go to extremes to get out of saying goodbye. I guess it boils down to the fact that perhaps I don't like change.


Now I try to embrace change by looking for the positive in it. For instance, in the Fall, I love the beauty of the changing leaves and I love the cooler weather. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and Fall is the gateway to those holidays. And I guess with age has come the knowledge that Spring will come and all will be right with the world again. Just like the second coming of Jesus. How hard it must have been for his disciples to say goodbye to him. How beautiful His message that He will return and all will be right. I am thankful for the earth and how all things testify to me that Heavenly Fathers kingdom is a kingdom of order and that just as the morning light replaces the darkness, our Savior's light will one day shine brightly again on the earth and the earth will be made whole and darkness will be taken from it. I am thankful for this knowledge and the joy and peace it brings me.

More Precious than Rubies

I recently sent a gift and I received a thank you of sorts. They said it was nice, but that it would have been better, had it been something they really wanted. Of course my first reaction was hurt, after all I had spent time and money on the gift and thought I had gotten something that they would like. Then, this morning as I listened to President Eyring's conference talk, I sat pondering my experience and because of the spirit speaking to me thru this beloved man, I realized I made comments like that to my Heavenly Father in a very real way on almost a daily basis. How many times have I received marvelous and wondrous gifts from my loving Father and dismissed them, or wished I would have received more or something I thought would be better. It was truly a moment of awakening.

I am now grateful to this person for making this statement and showing me why ingratitude can cause so much damage to our ability to receive and appreciate gifts. To President Eyring, who always carries the spirit with him so strongly, and especially to a forgiving, loving Father in Heaven, who still stands ready to bless me with His gifts and love even though for the most part I am unappreciative and sometimes don't even notice. I pray that when I dismiss a tender mercy as coincidence or take the kindness of a stranger for granted that I will remember this most valuable lesson. Of course, I am not comparing my gift to those of our Heavenly Father, mine was small and of no real value, the gifts of our Father are more precious than rubies.

Moments that count

I have been watching today to see how much I laugh after yesterday's blog. I wasn't doing too well until a friend called and asked if I would like to go to lunch. We got to laughing about something silly and I thought, it really does feel so good to laugh. Shortly after I returned home, my sister called me. We talked of our children, each other and life. We laughed and laughed. I am so grateful for friends and family. Without them I may not ever have reason to laugh. I love to be around my oldest daughter. She can get us rolling on the floor laughing at ourselves. No one can tell a story as well or as comical as her. What a blessing she is in my life. All my children have wonderful senses of humor, (is "senses" of humor really how you say that? Oh well I'll laugh about it later if it's wrong!) ;)

Helping others find laughter and joy is such a beautiful talent. I have always wanted to have that gift. I still lack it, but thankfully I can surround myself with people who have this gift and are willing to share it freely. I do have the gift of laughing and I am happy to share any time!

Maybe we don't always have to bake a cake to take to someone, but just take time to call a friend and invite them to lunch or just give your sister a call. These are the moments that count!

Your prescription today, 20 good belly laughs!

When we were under the age of 5 we laughed 400 to 500 times a day! As adults we only laugh 11-15 times a day. A healthy, good belly laugh is incredibly good for you spiritually, mentally and physically? A 20 second belly laugh is the same as 3 minutes of rowing. I don't know about you, but I'd rather laugh!

God wants us to be joyful. Men are that they might have joy. So why aren't we joyful? Could we be carrying thoughts, hardships and grudges around with us. If our load is heavy, how could we be happy? Jesus has already carried those for us, why do we think our carrying them will bring a higher resolution? What a falsehood. Let them go!

Take time today to stop doing the essentials and remember the vitals. To pause, breathe, and know that as we let go of this driven, must-do feeling, we allow a higher power to take over the details and help make it happen. Seeing small miracles in our lives not only rightly humbles us, but gives us a beautifully deep gratitude that makes everything in life suddenly A-OK! Just for a moment, slip off your shoes, close your eyes and soak in the sun, your life and the love around you. Take in a deep breath and feel the goodness of God and realize that, signs of his love for you, surround you constantly.

Put a smile on your kisser and someone may put a kiss on your smiler!

S.M.I.L.E = Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal

Forget Yourself!

As I sat in her living room, mesmerized by her beauty, I realized this is who I wanted to become. She was in her 80's, but had aged so gracefully. She may have not been beautiful in the worlds view, but she had without a doubt her maker's image engraven upon her face. Sister Saunders, who had taught me the value of broken porcelain was about to give me another life changing lesson.
Ironically it was my calling to visit her, to help and nourish her, but it was me who was nourished. I always left a better person for the visit. The lesson I was giving that day was about overcoming trials. "Oh I have had my share of heartache", her voice cracked with emotion, "but I never dwell on it. If I find myself feeling sorry for myself I pick myself up and go right in to my kitchen and bake a cake. Then I pray to be guided to take it to someone who needs to know someone cares!" I don't know how many cakes went out of that kitchen, it is recorded in heaven and really doesn't matter to me. What mattered to me was that she was gently telling me to forget myself and get up and go help someone who really needed it. I do not have a talent with cakes, but I am not bad at cupcakes or cookies and try to carry on Sister Saunder's tradition, plus, I always let myself lick the spoon!
President Faust said, "It is generally good medicine to sympathize with others, but not with yourself."

For the Beauty of the Earth

Today I watched and listened as an older gentleman gave thanks for the beauty of the earth. More specifically the flowers in his garden. I was touched that this seemingly tough old farmer took time to be grateful for what most people take for granted. He had prayed over his garden and then given thanks for it's beauty. I have been caught up in the last week with the worries I keep close, the loss of two children moving out at the same time to attend college, the loneliness of my home. I saw how ungrateful my heart had so quickly grown. As I pulled into my driveway I took time to notice the few flowers that were left blooming, and realized how beautiful each one was. I took time to contemplate that truly my children were becoming better people and out hopefully making the world a better place. They too are blooming in most beautiful and magical ways. My husband still tells me daily how beautiful I am, delusional as he obviously is, it still means the world to me. My heart began to heal and beauty again surrounded my little piece of the world. How thankful I am for the time this man took to remind me to be grateful. Not just for the things I want and pray for but for everything.

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

As I watch friends around me go through terrible life changing experiences I am constantly amazed at how resilient and strong the human spirit is. I love Carol Lynn Pearson's poem, Trial Number Five:
Carefully they laid
Out on the table
Trials one, two, three,
Four, five and six.

"Choose one," they said.

"Oh, any," she cried, with a horror
Born of the best of Halloweens,
"Any but number five.
It would kill me.
I promise you I would not survive."

They thanked her graciously,
Escorted her out,
Then gift-wrapped, addressed,
And labeled "Special Delivery"
Trial number five -

Sent with love from
Those whose assignment it is
To make sure you know
That you can go
Through trials one, two,
Three, four, ninety-nine,
Or five -
And, incredibly,
Come out alive.

I have faced trials that I feared, worried about and did not think I could live through, and because of divine help found out that, yes, I could come out alive. Always, they were never as bad as my worries had made them out to be. Because of these experiences, I know when a little worry, like the bleak economy, surfaces it's ugly head into my subconscious that whatever comes, I will survive. I just take one day, sometimes 10 seconds at a time.
Life is full of choices. It is also full of heartaches and joys. We can focus on one or the other, it is always a choice. I am so thankful for the people that come into my life to show me the better way. The way we were meant to live! I choose joy!

My Grandma

I have never seen my Grandma cry. I have been with her thru the death of 2 Grandsons, her husband of over 50 years, her best friend and one of her sons. She is 94, soon to be 95. In recent years we have become very close. She is one of the strongest women I know. She tells you what is on her mind, my daughter says she is one of the only people that could get away with it. She is a proud woman, and has always excelled in whatever she did. The picture on the right is her Great Grandmother, I can see the resemblance, the strength and the pride.

I loved to drive up to Idaho to see her and sometimes we would sneak out to go shopping. We would have so much fun and giggle like schoolgirls. We loved to just be together. I took her out to eat one year for her birthday and we teased the waiter til I thought he was going to quit, but he was a good sport and even brought her out fried ice cream which she had never tried, she loved it. We were both so full we were going to split but she had to eat the whole thing, I remember the cute way she licked her lips when she was done. I think she really just loved the attention and the moment, I know I did. She is no longer able to get around and so my heart is so grateful that I have such good memories of being with her, listening to her stories and feeling loved and joy.

I will always hold my Grandma close even when she leaves this earthly existence. In G.G. Vandagriff's book, "Voices in your blood", she says that not only are we influenced behaviorally and genetically by our forebears, but we also, in a very real way, carry pieces of our ancestors within in us microscopically. Grandma is woven into my life, like the tightly woven fibers in the yarn her crooked fingers crochet into beautiful afghans.

I love my Grandma and I love her for all the things she has taught me, by good example and bad. Hey Grandma, guess what, you are a fragile human after all and I love you even more because of your imperfections!